Super Bowl Tips For Tourists Coming To Miami We have the most beautiful city in the world
71% of the people that visit here become a resident
The other 29% come here on vacation
Leave on probation
And come back on a violation
So they wine up a jail house resident as well as our extended family
All u sports casters and commentators please be advised that
THE SUPER BOWL IS AT HARD ROCK STADIUM LOCATED IN THE HEART OF MIAMI GARDENS NOT SOUTH BEACH
Drugs selling around the corner on 175th and pussy selling at the mint on 187th within walking distance of the stadium right next door to the police station
You can get you a lil Pre game and a half time show and still be back on time without using a Uber
Don’t park your car in any area outside of stadium parking because when u come back u might not have no car
Our strippers accept zelle , PayPal Venmo and cash app
So if u run out of ones Have no fear we accept cash app here
For all u dudes that like to go on the street Lookin for hookers if u go to 79th st everything walking over there is a chick with dick
All the females are on only fans just like in your city. Everything on the street is a boy with a wig
Wynwood is the new black south beach strip and it’s lit
But please stay in between 20th street and 36th street anything north of 36th st is lil Haiti
And anything south of 20th st is overtown aka first 48
If u get to drunk they have a sign up that says Overtown starts here
If yo out of town ass get caught in the swamps them alligators gon eat the shit out you.
I ain’t talking bout the water and the animals I’m talking bout them hungry ass robbers looking for the lick
Our drivers don’t stop at stop signs , red lights police lights and we don’t use the turning signal
Drive that rental car with extreme caution
Get the best insurance too
Don’t make no plans the day before because in Miami we get all 4 seasons in one day
It can be sunny at 8am and a hurricane warning at 8:30 am
Play that shhhhh by ear and plan everything within the same hour
Our crackheads don’t sell nothing for $5 no more now it’s $10 so u can get a Carwash and a oil change for $10 just make sure he got dirty hands and his clothes got a lil grease on it
That means he work on cars cars
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