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In his book, Letting Go, Dr. David Hawkins explains that “the ‘small’ part of ourselves is attached to the familiar, no matter how painful or inefficient it is.” He says that though “it may seem bizarre, our self with a small ‘s’ actually enjoys an impoverished life and all the negativity that goes with it: feeling unworthy, being invalidated, judging others and ourselves, being inflated, always winning and being right, grieving the past, fearing the future, nursing our wounds, craving assurance, and seeking love instead of giving it”….Further, he explains that “one of the biggest hurdles to happiness, is the belief that it isn’t possible.” Too often, we believe, “There’s got to be a catch. It’s too good to be true. It can happen for others but not me.”
As I read his words, I remembered back about six years ago when I first began my own personal work with a Life Coach. She said to me in one of our first sessions, “Connie, your problem is that you don’t believe you can have what you really want. You don’t believe that what you want is available to you. So, you settle for counterfeit.”
Her words cut right to my core. I knew it was true. I realized that I had been settling for living a life of struggle and survival all for so many years, and in the process of that, I stopped believing that the life that I really wanted to live was ‘too good to be true’. It wasn’t for me.
As truth resonated in my heart, sadness overcame me. I had been living a much smaller existence for as long as I could remember. And the problem with that was that no matter what I achieved or how hard I worked, it never felt like enough – because deep inside, I believed I wasn’t enough.
Living this way created a wake of destruction in my heart, in my health, and in my relationships. So, I felt the pressure to constantly please and perform, which never allowed me the freedom to show up fully and authentically, to deeply connect or to enjoy anything or anyone – and the thought that anyone would ever enjoy me was unfathomable for me.
When I was awakened to the truth in my coaching process, I became very aware that every day of my life felt like survival. But all those years, I had lived in deception, that true happiness and fulfillment was for everybody else. That it was too good to be true and not for me. I longed for peace inside, for feeling true joy and for feeling connected, known, seen, that I mattered and that I could trust that I was loved and supported. But that reality felt so far away – impossible for me.
I am so grateful for the internal work I’ve done over the last six years. As a result, I now feel so grateful to coach other men and women who are living in struggle, striving, and survival, to create powerful transformation in their hearts, minds, and behaviors, so they too, can live the life of freedom and fullness that they were intended to live.
I am grateful to walk out the journey with so many who are settling for a much smaller and more despairing existence that they have accepted to be “as good as it gets”.
In their pondering, the disappointment, doubt, and despair bubble up inside, but they stay stuck because they have no hope or clarity of direction for creating the powerful transformation they so desperately desire.
The days go on. Life goes on. Nothing changes.
Same stress. Same struggle. Again Today.
It’s so hard for us to fathom that life can be different when we are stuck in struggle, striving, and surviving. It is countercultural and counterintuitive for us to trust that we are loved, known, and fully supported. So, instead, our smaller self takes over, and we create a much smaller existence for ourselves by striving, struggling, and surviving – in overwhelm, burden, and exhaustion, trying so hard to make things happen for ourselves, working so hard to create that sense of security we crave, desperately seeking validation and settling for counterfeit for the true connection we are wired for.
This way of existing is a vicious cycle, a pattern of thinking and behavior that we don’t have to continue. It may be most familiar and most comfortable, but it is not all there is.
Hear me when I say this and please take it to heart. This way of living isn’t too good to be true, and it isn’t for everybody else. It is for you, and it is available to you. You were created with a unique identity, and a beautiful purpose and destiny that no one else can fulfill.
Will you take accept the invitation, and take the first step?
Email me at Conniej@arisecounselingandcoaching.com
I’d love to coach you to Awaken, Uncage, and Soar In A Life You Love!
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